Sam the Stalwart
by mykindofparty
Summary: Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun. That's where Santana and Brittany come into the picture.
1. Chapter 1

Sam the Stalwart  
By: Me!  
Pairing: Sam/Tina, Brittany/Santana  
Summary: _Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun.  
_A/N: Hope y'all are in the mood for some Avatar/Glee fluff.

* * *

_Fire. Air. Water. Earth. It's been sixteen years since Avatar Korra rid Republic City of the Equalists, but in doing so, sacrificed her own life. Since then, there's been a time of great peace and a new avatar was born into the Earth Kingdom – an avatar named Sam. Along with my girlfriend, Brittany, I vowed to help Sam not be such a dork and show him the perks of being the most powerful bender alive._

* * *

_Book One:  
Water_

* * *

Sam set out on his faithful camelephant, Sully, and began heading south. Although everything in the world was harmonious, he still needed to complete his avatar training and waterbending was the only element he had yet to master. He was almost to the nearest harbor when he heard bickering. As the avatar, it was his duty to resolve the conflict.

He heard a girly shriek, and then, "Quit trying to airbend my clothes off!"

Another girl laughed. "Don't play coy; you like it."

"I'll have my turtle duck bite that smug grin off your face," the first one said.

Sam rounded the corner, alarmed that this disagreement would quickly escalate. What he found was surprising, to say the least. The owners of those voices were now making out frantically. He'd never seen girls his age do _that_ and he was pretty sure the blonde one was about to make good on her promise to undress the other using only airbending techniques. "Are you crazy?" Sam sputtered. "One second you're fighting and the next you two are about to have… have… _relations_ out here?"

The girl who had shrieked before – who Sam now noticed was wearing Fire Nation clothing – paused. "Why do you care?" she asked.

"I'm the avatar," he said, puffing up his chest. "And I rescue people."

"Does it _look_ like I need rescuing?" she fired back.

"I guess not," Sam said lamely. "But I heard you arguing–"

The Fire Nation girl circled him, as though stalking her prey. "We were fooling around. I guess the almighty avatar has never met any lesbians, huh?"

Sam blushed profusely. "Uh… I'm Sam. And not in this life."

"Santana. And this is my girlfriend, Brittany."

Brittany blew a puff of air upward so that her bangs stuck straight up. "Hey."

The turtle duck waddled over to Santana and she picked him up off the ground. "Meet Lucky," she said.

"What's so lucky about him?" Sam asked.

Brittany scowled. "He's lucky I don't make him into turtle duck soup, that's what." Lucky quacked at her and jumped down from Santana's arms. Brittany began bending air at him to stop him from chasing her, but she finally had to leap onto a tall rock in order to escape his wrath.

Sam cheered. "You're an amazing airbender!" he told her. "I just finished my training on Air Temple Island. Do you know Emma?"

Brittany plopped down on the rock and swung her legs so that they dangled over the side. "Nah, I'm more of a self-taught bender. Besides, that Air Nomad garb is so… tacky."

Sam turned to Santana. "What about you?" he asked. "Can I see you firebend?"

"NOT EVERYONE'S A BENDER, YOU KNOW," Santana bellowed. "I DON'T NEED BENDING TO KICK YOUR ASS." She whipped a razor blade out of her hair and chucked it at the nearest tree. A falling leaf split neatly in two as the razor lodged itself in the tree trunk.

Sam stumbled backwards. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Brittany laughed and gracefully floated down from the ledge, wrapping her girlfriend in a hug. "She's sensitive," she mouthed to Sam. Lucky quacked again, and Brittany jumped into Santana's arms. "Anyway, Avatar Sam, it seems to me like you need our help more than we need yours," Brittany said from her comfortable new position. "You look like a confused platypus bear when it has to go to the bathroom – but there's still food on its plate and can't decide which is more important."

Sam shrugged, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. "Oh, I'm just on my way to the Southern Water Tribe."

Santana shook her head. "I thought avatars were supposed to be smart. You're headed in the wrong direction, genius. This harbor only docks _Northern_ Water Tribe ships." Her knees trembled. "D'ya mind getting down now, Britt?"

"Only if you _get down_ with me," Brittany joked, but complied anyway. She hissed like an owl cat at Lucky, who ruffled his feathers at her.

Sam groaned. "If you help me find the right harbor, I'll pardon all of your… indiscretions."

Santana crossed her arms defensively. "What makes you so sure we even have 'indiscretions'?" she asked.

"I know I only just met you," Sam said, "but from what little I've seen, I think it's safe to say you have plenty."

Brittany, now dangling from Sully's trunk upside down, said, "He's got a point, babe."

"Fine," Santana said with a huff. "But that's it. We'll camp out tonight and then after we're done babysitting you, we're going our separate ways. Britts and I are trying to keep a low profile."

The next morning, Santana and Brittany kept their word. It was about an hour's journey on Sully and Sam was surprisingly sad to think that he'd have to part with his new friends already.

"I guess this is goodbye, Avatar Sam," Santana said as they reached the dock. She slid off of the camelephant's back with Brittany's assistance.

"I guess it is," Sam said. He boarded the ship and it took off several minutes later.

Brittany wrapped an arm around Santana. "We'll see him again," she said as the ship sailed towards the horizon. "He never actually did anything to pardon us. Besides, that merchant ship's headed for Omashu."

"Are you serious?" Santana asked her.

"Yeah, I overheard some burly-looking dudes talking about it just a few minutes ago," Brittany said. "Sam really does have a terrible sense of direction."

"He probably has two left feet," Santana added. They stood in silence for a moment.

"You know what we have to do, right?" Brittany prodded.

"Wish him all the best?" Santana guessed.

Brittany whipped out her air glider. "Nope."

Santana sighed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if we're gonna catch up with that ship, we better get going now."

Brittany kissed her on the cheek. "That's my girl. Also, I wouldn't be opposed to leaving Lucky here."

"Nice try," Santana said.

Brittany got a running start on the glider. "Hold on tight, baby. It's gonna be a bumpy ride."

Santana clung to her girlfriend for dear life. "Do you think while we're helping the avatar learn to read a map, we can also teach him how to loosen up a little?"


	2. Chapter 2

Sam the Stalwart  
By: Me!  
Pairing: Sam, Brittany/Santana  
Summary: _Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun.  
_A/N: More Avatar!Sam, Airbender!Brittany, and FireNation!Santana

* * *

_Fire. Air. Water. Earth. It's been sixteen years since Avatar Korra rid Republic City of the Equalists, but in doing so, sacrificed her own life. Since then, there's been a time of great peace and a new avatar was born into the Earth Kingdom – an avatar named Sam. Along with my girlfriend, Brittany, I vowed to help Sam not be such a dork and show him the perks of being the most powerful bender alive. _

* * *

_Book One:  
Water_

* * *

"I'm so glad you decided to join Sully and me," Sam said as his newest friends joined him on the deck of the Southern Water Tribe ship. "I was getting bored playing Pai Sho."

Brittany quirked her head to the side. "Pai Sho's a two player game."

"I know," Sam said with a grin. "I sometimes play by myself so I can develop complex strategies–"

"Boring," Santana interrupted. "Come on, Britt, let's go _below deck_."

"Oh," Brittany said, catching on to Santana's meaning. "Yeah, there's a lot going on down there. We should definitely get a grasp on the… situation."

"Can I come too?" Sam asked eagerly.

Santana shook her head frantically. "No!" she said. "You have to… stay up here and let us know when we get to the Southern Water Tribe. Have fun playing with yourself, though!" She grabbed Brittany's hand.

"But this ship's going to Omashu, remember?" Brittany whispered as they reached the top of the stairs.

Santana placed a kiss to Brittany's lips. "Fewer distractions mean more of those."

"Have fun scoping it out!" Sam called as they disappeared into the darkness.

"Sam, that's disgusting," Brittany yelled back over her shoulder. "Oh. I thought he said probing it out. Never mind!"

They weren't down there long, however. Several irate water tribesmen discovered they were stowaways and soon forced them above deck again.

"Are these your friends, boy?" a man by the name of Ken asked Sam.

"No," Sam said seriously. Brittany and Santana glared at him. "They're my _best _friends!"

"Look," Ken said, tapping his foot. "Your camelephant slows us down enough as it is, but we–"

"Hit it, Britt!" Santana said. Brittany smacked Santana's butt. "That wasn't the 'it' I was referring to, honey."

As Brittany used her bending to put some air into the sails, Santana sent a razorblade whizzing by Ken's ear. "What were you saying about us slowing you down?" she hissed.

"What I meant was… I appreciate the help?" Ken said, trembling.

"Do you know who this is?" Santana said as she gestured towards Sam. "Let me give you a hint. He's not just some random passenger you picked up in Republic City."

Ken gave Sam a once over. "What did you say your name was?"

"Sam."

"Sam… the Stalwart?" Ken asked.

Sam grew uncomfortable at the mention of his nickname, but nodded anyway.

"I apologize, Your Avatarness. I'm the captain of this humble vessel and I'd like to have a feast in your honor," Ken said with a bow. "Your friends are invited, of course."

"_Best_ friends," Brittany mimicked.

Santana smirked. "That'll be all, Captain Ken."

"Wow," Sam said once Ken had left. "You guys sure know how to get yourselves out of a pickle."

Santana coughed. "We don't always have the avatar to use as leverage."

"Yeah," Brittany said, "sometimes our pickles get a little slippery. You were right about us having a few… indiscretions."

"So," Santana continued, "we were thinking that we'd get you to the SWT all safe and sound, and in exchange you'd do that thing where you make our criminal records disappear."

"Sure! Anything for you guys," Sam said. "I'll get you out of every pickle you've ever been in."

"We actually hate pickles," Santana said with a straight face. "And being called guys."

Brittany giggled. "I used to like pickles, but I gave them up when I started dating Santana."

Sam laughed along, even though he had no clue what they were talking about. He was just glad his best friends were there with him.

"So… why'd Captain Ken call you Sam the Stalwart?" Santana asked later that night after they had dined like royalty. For Brittany and Santana, it was their first real meal in days.

"Yeah," Brittany chimed in, "you don't look like a cross between a unicorn and a whale to me."

Sam shook his shaggy mane. "It's just a nickname."

"There's _always_ a story behind nicknames," Santana said.

Brittany nudged her girlfriend. "Santana's is Snix because it's shorter to call out in–"

"In a pickle," Santana cut in, giving Brittany a sour look. Brittany ignored her in favor of poking Lucky with a twig she found on the deck.

"The story behind my nickname has nothing to do with that," Sam said. "I was born in the Earth Kingdom town of Gaoling to a very poor family. My parents had no idea they were raising the avatar. Until one day my little brother and sister were getting picked on by these earthbender punks. Stevie and Stacy just looked… helpless. So I took a chunk of rock and slung it at the bullies, but I didn't quit there. I put everything I had into hurting those kids. I threw fire at them and blasted them with air until they were begging me to stop."

Santana put a comforting hand on his arm. "Sam…"

He looked at her with unshed tears in his eyes. "The White Lotus came soon after that so I could begin my avatar training. But I didn't want to leave. _Sam the Stubborn_, they called me at first. But I was so devoted to helping my family; I couldn't just leave! What if something bad happened to them while I was gone? My mom was the one who convinced me to go. She said, 'Sammy, we'll be alright. This was what you were meant to do. You'll be with us in our hearts. Be strong. Be brave. Be loyal.' So I left."

"Then what happened?" Brittany asked. She and Santana were curled under a blanket together and Sam was suddenly aware of just how lonely he felt at that moment.

"I was training in the Fire Nation when I received word that a landslide destroyed Gaoling. There weren't enough earthbenders to save the whole town."

Santana swallowed. Her palms itched as Sam recounted the tale. Finally, it was too much for her to take and she stood up quickly. "It's getting late. We should probably go to bed. Britt and I found two guest cabins earlier when we were exploring the ship so we'll take one and you can have the other."

"Nah," Sam said, "I think I'm just gonna sleep under the stars."


	3. Chapter 3

Sam the Stalwart  
By: Me!  
Pairing: Sam, Brittany/Santana  
Summary: _Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun.  
_A/N: Here's more Avatar!Sam, Airbender!Brittany, and FireNation!Santana.

* * *

_Fire. Air. Water. Earth. It's been sixteen years since Avatar Korra rid Republic City of the Equalists, but in doing so, sacrificed her own life. Since then, there's been a time of great peace and a new avatar was born into the Earth Kingdom – an avatar named Sam. Along with my girlfriend, Brittany, I vowed to help Sam not be such a dork and show him the perks of being the most powerful bender alive. _

* * *

_Book One:  
Water_

* * *

Sam knocked on Brittany and Santana's door just after midnight. "Guys?" he said, before clearing his throat. "I mean, uh, ladies? You okay in there?" He heard muffled noises coming from inside and wondered if there was something wrong because they weren't responding to the sound of his voice. "If you don't open the door in ten seconds, I'm kicking it down." He counted to twenty in his head and kicked. The door didn't budge. He ran his fingers over the wood, checking for weak points. It was solid. _They're trapped, _he thought. There was only one thing left to do. He was going to burn the door down. "Stand back, I'm using force–" he began, only for Santana to open it just as he was getting into firebending formation.

"What are you doing?" she asked. He expected her to be bleary-eyed and sleepy, but she was wide awake. "Holy sweet hell, you were about to burn this door to a crisp, weren't you?"

"Um…" he stammered.

"I know a firebending stance when I see one," she chastised. "Great plan, Sammy. What were you going to do once THE ENTIRE SHIP CAUGHT ON FIRE?"

"Well…"

"Come back to bed, Snix," Brittany whined. "I'm not done with you."

Sam began to sweat. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were in the middle of… pickle time."

To his surprise, Santana laughed. "It's no-pickle time, actually. We _hate_ pickles, remember?"

"Right," he said. "Me too."

That only made her laugh harder, causing Lucky to quack obnoxiously.

Brittany covered her ears. "If no-pickle time's over, you three can just have your gigglefest outside."

Santana stopped laughing. "No! Sam and Lucky were the ones cracking up. Not me."

The sound of rain beat down on the deck above them and a flash of lightning soon followed. Sam and Santana both shrieked when the thunder came.

"Scaredy owl cats," Brittany muttered. "Okay, you can all stay. But just this once!" She sighed and created a gust of wind that closed the door. The three of them squeezed into the bed together, with Brittany by the wall of the cabin, Santana in the middle, and Sam dangling closely to the edge.

"This is pretty cozy," Sam commented after a few minutes of silence. His left butt cheek was already numb and since he'd never been in such close proximity to girls his own age before, he began to feel… nervous. He'd already seen Brittany and Santana make out – and that was traumatizing enough – but being in the same bed with them was too weird. "Okay, I lied. This was a mistake. I'll leave if you want…"

"Don't go," Brittany said kindly. "You can just sleep on the floor or something. We don't mind having you here, I promise." She poked her girlfriend in the side.

"Yeah," Santana agreed after a little prodding, "we're not used to having a third wheel."

"Besides Lucky, you mean?" Brittany grumbled as Sam made a pallet on the ground. The turtle duck seized the opportunity to curl up next to Santana, much to Brittany's dismay.

Sam stretched his arms and legs out as far as they would go. His butt still tingled, however. "Who'd you meet first, Santana?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Who do you think?" Brittany replied coolly, sending a gust of wind Lucky's way. He flapped his wings at her and ruffled his feathers.

"My girlfriend here is just a tad bit jealous that she's not my first love," Santana said.

"He's a turtle duck! And you're a lesbian!" Brittany argued.

"Then how did you and Brittany meet?" Sam wondered.

"Now _that's_ a good story," Santana said dreamily.

Sam sat up. "Does it involve pirates? Or a masquerade ball? Oh, did you serenade her?"

"It was way better than that frilly crap," Santana bragged.

"You found a message in a bottle and met her on top of the highest cliff where she was about to jump to her doom and rescued her?" Sam guessed.

"Better."

"You–"

"Lucky wouldn't stop humping my leg!" Brittany said all of a sudden. "Then the next thing I knew, Santana wouldn't either!"

Santana cackled. "Toldja it was a good story."

They fell asleep soon after and when they woke up, they had arrived in the city of Omashu.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam the Stalwart  
By: Me!  
Pairing: Sam, Brittany/Santana  
Summary: _Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun.  
_A/N: Here's more Avatar!Sam, Airbender!Brittany, and FireNation!Santana.

* * *

_Fire. Air. Water. Earth. It's been sixteen years since Avatar Korra rid Republic City of the Equalists, but in doing so, sacrificed her own life. Since then, there's been a time of great peace and a new avatar was born into the Earth Kingdom – an avatar named Sam. Along with my girlfriend, Brittany, I vowed to help Sam not be such a dork and show him the perks of being the most powerful bender alive. _

* * *

_Book One:  
Water_

* * *

"Welcome to Omashu, kids," Captain Ken said proudly as he placed one hand on Sam's back and the other on Santana's, shoving them forward. "Now get the hell off my ship."

They scurried onto the dock as fast as their legs would take them while Brittany air glided past. The wooden vessel creaked beneath Sully's enormous feet as he made his exit. "Hey! Don't forget your turtle duck!" one of the deckhands said as he placed Lucky into Santana's outstretched arms.

"That was close," Santana said, relieved that she hadn't left him behind.

"So close, yet so far," Brittany muttered. The longer she and Santana were together, the more she was convinced Lucky would make an excellent meal. Turtle duck soup was a delicacy, after all. His shell would double as a bowl and maybe she could even buy the rest of the ingredients right here in Omashu. "Anybody else hungry?" she asked.

"Starving," Santana exaggerated. If anything, she was still full from last night's feast, but she wasn't about to turn down food. "I could eat a whole tigerdillo."

"So you'd eat _that_ but not pickles?" Sam asked. He paused. "I still don't understand that metaphor."

Santana gave him a puzzled look. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

Brittany stepped in before her girlfriend could explain anything. "How about I take Lucky grocery shopping while you two figure out how to get to the Southern Water Tribe," she suggested.

Sam looked up at the towering camelephant. "What about Sully?"

"He can make sure you two don't run into any trouble," Brittany said. "Lucky and I need some bonding time."

"Fine, as long as I get 'bonding time' with you later," Santana flirted, but deep down she was anxious. Although she refused to admit it, separation was especially difficult for her.

Brittany knew that all too well. "I love you," she said, giving her girlfriend one last kiss before they parted ways. Then she set off into town with Lucky.

Santana blinked a few times to hold off any tears that threatened to fall. Besides a kiss, Brittany had given her the air glider to hold on to. "Come on, Sammy." She dragged him by the ear.

"We're not going to walk like this all day, right?" Sam complained a few minutes later. His ear ached from Santana's death grip. "Besides, we can just ride on Sully."

"Sully's about as fast as a sea slug."

"Well, that insult's as old as Republic City!" Sam countered.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Ouch, that stung like a fire ferret bite."

Someone giggled and when Sam spun around, he was face-to-face with the most gorgeous Water Tribe girl he'd ever seen. The blue streaks in her hair, while uncommon, only added to her beauty. "I've never seen improv before," she said. "Maybe I should visit Omashu more often."

"We're not comedians… I'm Av the Samatar," Sam introduced himself.

Santana roared with laughter behind him.

"Uh, what I meant was, I'm the Avatam, Sar. Wait, that's not right either. I'm Sam... Avatar Sam," he finished lamely.

"I'm Tina," the girl said. "Tina Cohen-Chang."

Meanwhile, Brittany sorted through heads of lettuce. Tonight's menu was going to feature turtle duck soup, salad, and for desert, fruit pies. The shopkeepers paid her no mind, which was a relief because she didn't have any money in the first place. She just wordlessly slipped what she needed into her basket when they weren't looking. There was nothing suspicious about an airbender taking her girlfriend's pet out for grocery shopping, right?

Lucky was her lookout, quacking whenever he spotted someone watching them. Brittany almost felt guilty for what she was about to do, but then she remembered how delicious the soup was.

"Run!" Tina yelled as she, Sam, and Santana escaped from the Earth Kingdom guards, who apparently didn't like having melons thrown at their heads. "Take a left here – no! Left, Sam! Left!"

"He's not the brightest reincarnation in history," Santana said beside her while they weaved through the streets of Omashu.

Although he was struggling to keep up, Sam managed to say, "I'm pretty sure I told you _not_ to bug those guys."

"How was I supposed to know they'd chase us? Anyway, Samatar, take Brittany's glider and airbend your way outta here. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me," Santana said, tossing it to him. Then she stopped running and turned back to face the guards. "Tina and I will figure something out."

Reluctantly, Sam took off in search of Brittany. She'd know what to do.

"_Two turtle ducks and a sparrowkeet in a pear tree,"_ Brittany sang as she lit a match. She chuckled to herself. "I should write that one down."

Lucky hopped onto a tree stump and peered into the pot of water where Brittany was adding the vegetables.

"My only regret is that I didn't fatten you up enough," she tells him. "Eat this." She places a potato by his webbed feet. "Think of it as your last supper."

An Earth Kingdom soldier stood watch over two captives. One was a wanted criminal. The other, a seemingly out of place waterbender. Their accomplice, a suspected airbender dressed in Earth Kingdom clothes, had fled the scene. "Commander Puckerman," he said with a salute, "we've apprehended two of the three melon throwers."

Noah Puckerman's eyes roamed the holding cell until they locked with the Fire Nation prisoner's. "Santana?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Sam the Stalwart**  
**By:** Me!  
**Pairing:** Sam, Brittany/Santana  
**Summary:** _Loyal. Reliable. Hardworking. He's everything the Avatar should be. But he's never had… fun.  
_A/N: Here's more Avatar!Sam, Airbender!Brittany, and FireNation!Santana. I've been sitting on this chapter a while. Sorry.

* * *

_Fire. Air. Water. Earth. It's been sixteen years since Avatar Korra rid Republic City of the Equalists, but in doing so, sacrificed her own life. Since then, there's been a time of great peace and a new avatar was born into the Earth Kingdom – an avatar named Sam. Along with my girlfriend, Brittany, I vowed to help Sam not be such a dork and show him the perks of being the most powerful bender alive. My name? Santana Lopez._

_Book One:  
Water_

* * *

"Santana?" Commander Puckerman repeated. "Come closer."

Santana inched forward into the light so he could get a good luck at her. "Long time no see, Noah."

Although she didn't show it, Santana was scared. The last time she saw Noah Puckerman, they left off on bad terms and with Sam as her only hope of escaping, she didn't feel very confident either.

"Was anyone else with them?" Commander Puckerman asked Lieutenant Karofsky.

"Afraid so. These two fought back, but their friend ran away," the lieutenant informed him.

Commander Puckerman grimaced. "Let me guess; this friend was tall, blonde, and gorgeous?"

"Well, I didn't get a good look at his face, sir, but he had a nice butt from what I could tell."

"What happened to Brittany?" Puck snarled at Santana.

"Brittany who?" Santana lied. She began to trail her fingers across the bars of the prison cell. Puck was a sucker for her charm. He gulped and that was all the ammunition she needed. "I've missed you, Noah."

"Well," he stammered, "I haven't missed you."

"You sure about that?" she purred, grabbing hold of his bicep and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Puck stifled a groan. He _hated_ this manipulative bitch, but at the same time, he was also under her spell.

"I _should_ just lock you up and throw away the key," Puck said.

Santana hummed. "But where's the fun in that? We used to have _so_ much fun together."

He remembered. The long walks on the beach, skipping rocks, and playing tricks on the villagers were a blast. But getting a kiss out of the woman was like pulling teeth. "Yeah, I had a great time falling in love with a woman who used me to get back at her girlfriend," he replied.

Tina quirked her head to the side. "Say what now?"

"Don't judge me, Tina," Santana snapped. She smiled sweetly at Puck. "I can explain…"

…

Outside the prison walls, three figures hid in the shadows as a guard passed.

The first figure turned to her companions. "Remember, we make it out of here with Santana or we don't make it out of here at all."

"And Tina," the second added.

The first figure shook her head. "That's to be determined."

The third figure quacked in agreement.

…

Back inside the Earth Kingdom prison, the interrogation continued.

"Who was that blonde person with you?"

Santana placed her hands on her hips. "No clue."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"In town."

"Which town?"

"This one," She lied. She refrained from adding a _numbskull_ onto the end of that sentence, but holy sweet hell, this conversation was getting dull. Pretending to be interested in Noah Puckerman was a much more difficult task than one might think. Sure, he was good looking, but he was all brawn and no brains. If she played her cards right, she could have him handing her the keys to her jail cell one minute and the keys to the city the next. "Said his name was…"

She paused, delighting in watching Puck lean in a little closer. She faked a sigh. "I forget."

Puck nodded to Karofsky who disappeared behind a wall. When he returned, he was holding a tray of food. "Maybe this'll jog your memory."

Santana snatched the plate out of Karofsky's hand and began gobbling the food down, growling when Tina reached out a tentative hand.

"Remember anything now?"

"Started with an S," she replied.

"Sexy?" Karofsky guessed, earning him several looks. "What? He was."

"You know, dessert would also do wonders."

"Lieutenant, bring her some pie," Puck commanded. "Now talk."

Once the slice was in her hand, she smiled. "His name is Sam," she said through a mouthful of pie. "He doesn't understand pickles, is constantly in my way, and despite his deceptively dorky haircut, he's actually the most powerful Earthbender I've ever seen."

…

No longer hidden by the shadows, Sam, Brittany, and Lucky made their way inside the stronghold and were immediately met with opposition.

"Freeze!" Sam yelled, blowing a gust of wind at two guards, the blast knocking them unconscious.

"That would've been way funnier if you actually knew how to waterbend," Brittany said, cradling Lucky in her arms. She ruffled his feathers. "Remember, Lucky boy, you're the lookout. Quack if you see someone coming. Let's practice."

Lucky looked up at her with a blank expression.

"Quack," she encouraged him. "Quack!"

But he remained silent.

"C'mon, you never hesitate doing this while Santana and I are getting it–"

Lucky cut her off with a quack.

"Finally," Brittany murmured as several Earth Kingdom guards snuck up on them.

When he wouldn't stop quacking, she turned around and gasped.

They were vastly outnumbered.


End file.
